Catharsis
by Painted Ys
Summary: Naruto is celebrating the International Women's Day! Sasuke can't, for the life of him, understand why. Explanation: Sasuke is Naruto's woman. Can Sasuke prove himself? It's a poor uke vs. the possessive ways of his seme! NaruSasu


**Warnings:** Language, OOC, Slightly crackish, Slash/BL, Lime-ish, Silliness, Typos & Grammar, Not beta-read

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto, and it's not making me rich in any material way.

**Notes:** It's my first time writing NaruSasu shounen-ai; please cut me some slack. Non-massacre: The Uchiha clan is alive. Not that it matters in this fiction, but it explains Itachi's presence. And the kiss in episode 3 is mentioned in this story, though only briefly and with little consequence. And I'm doing all this because Sasuke makes such a cute uke and Naruto can't resist him!

'_Thoughts'_  
**Emphasis on a word**  
_The word can be found in the dictionary on the bottom of this page_

* * *

Sasuke didn't quite know what to make of the current situation...

What was the current situation, you ask?

The onyx-eyed prodigy had been tackled, embarrassingly easy, by his former teammate, Naruto. He was now on the ground, straddled, and struggling against a bouquet of red roses that had been firmly shoved into his face. And Sasuke could not, for the life of him, understand what he had done to merit such a predicament because, let's face it, not many people had the guts to publicly ambush him like this.

Unfortunately for him, Naruto could be categorised as one of those few people.

Sasuke was, despite popular belief, quite the forgiving guy, and was willing to overlook this episode of sexual harassment from his lover if the reason could be deemed reasonably adequate. Had the person not been his jounin boyfriend, however, a sufficient reason for such outrageous behaviour would have quite high standards. But since this was Naruto, Sasuke had kindly lowered his regular standards by eight points.

In other words, Naruto had to be pretty dense if he couldn't talk his way out of this one.

"What on earth are you doing, dobe?" Sasuke muttered, silently entertaining the thought of incinerating the offending flowers that were currently buried in his left nostril. They were in his way, and made it twice as hard to glare at the joyous bundle of orange now comfortably seated on his abdomen.

"It's the International Women's Day today! We have to celebrate, of course," his boyfriend exclaimed loudly, grinning like mad. Sasuke inched one eyebrow under his dark bangs as a quiet way to convey his confusion. Sakura would be home later today from a mission with Ino. Why on earth weren't Naruto waiting for them instead? They were women...

For once, Sasuke felt like he was missing the big picture here.

"Well, you're obviously the woman in our relationship, so I thought I'd show you my appreciation by spending this day obeying your every whim," Naruto explained. "I know you love it when I do that," he added cheekily, quite pleased with his wonderful idea.

Sasuke was not as amused.

As a matter of fact, he was everything but.

With a violent shove and a colourful curse, Sasuke pushed the blonde off him before smugly wilting the bouquet of roses in front of a stunned Naruto. He was not happy, and if the dead roses didn't get the point across, then the wildly spinning Sharingan-activated eyes of his would surely do the trick. This was an insult.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken, Naruto, but I am **not **the woman in this relationship-"

"But being _uke_ means that, except for the bed activities, you are in charge. It's not bad at all! And since you're always on the bottom when we-"

"Being a woman and being the _uke_ are two separate things," Sasuke hissed, "And I'm not **always** on the bottom either," he added sourly.

"If you're referring to that time you were drunk, it doesn't count."

"...Why not?"

Naruto deadpanned. "Well, you were drunk. It doesn't count if you're barely conscious during the act."

Sasuke shut up.

Not because he considered himself beaten, oh no, but because this discussion was not a public topic for entire Konoha to hear. And hear it they would, juicy gossip would soon follow, and then Kakashi or Sakura would be at their door, trying to act as inconspicuously as possible while looking for clues to confirm the rumour. He'd been there, done that, and kicked them out every time. You'd think they'd learn after the nth visit to the flowerbed across the street of their flat, but they kept coming back like bugs. It didn't matter what Sasuke said to make them go away; Kakashi's eye would only crinkle in a friendly manner and Sakura would giggle awkwardly.

It pissed him off to no end.

Sasuke also liked to consider himself used to Naruto's aberrant ways and thought he had become rather Naruto proof with the years. However, he was now forced to revaluate his firm believes because he had never seen this side of his long-time lover before. It was the unexpected level 6 of this annoyingly adamant stupidity. Sasuke had previously thought this mood only went to level 5.

He had been wrong.

Naruto's idiocy seemed to know no bounds.

"I'll prove it to you," Sasuke vowed menacingly as Naruto brushed away imaginary dirt from his left shoulder, "I'll show you that I'm not the least bit feminine in any way."

"How? You can't even successfully pick up a girl. I mean, you hate socialising and only talk to people I know."

"I said I would show you..." Sasuke frowned. "You know that you're the only one I have ever had, right?" He looked up to gauge the reaction to his question and watched with a tinge of satisfaction as Naruto narrowed his eyes almost imperceptibly. A lot of things could be said about Naruto, but his rank as ANBU captain wasn't based on simple luck. After a lot of hard training he had become an expert on lots of vastly different fields, but his main field was still, without doubt, a certain Uchiha Sasuke. And thus, Naruto could easily tell when his _koi_ was going to play dirty.

"Yeah? Why?" Naruto was suspicious. And he had every right to be, Sasuke could be quite cunning if he benefitted from it. And Sasuke probably thought he benefitted a lot from proving this to Naruto, but the blonde would always worry when it came to his raven. So it didn't really matter whether Sasuke was _uke_ or not, because from Naruto's point of view, this could be nothing more than a total waste of time and effort because he would never stop lavishing Sasuke with attention anyway. Either way, he was constantly worrying whenever Sasuke thought he was being clever about anything regarding their relationship.

"Well, what if I'm missing out on something good? I think I should broaden my horizon." Sasuke smirked at his bold declaration. Naruto's eye twitched. Sasuke was deliberately playing with fire. And Naruto would relish dousing the flames. As a _seme_, it was his God-given job to protect his _uke_, especially when said _uke_ had the weirdest notion going on.

"And how, pray tell, will you do that?"

No _uke_ could be _seme_ in the same relationship.

"I'll seduce someone and top them."

Everyone knew that.

"...Come again?"

Except for the _uke_, apparently.

* * *

"Neji, do you think I am feminine?"

Neji choked ungracefully on spit and air as he stared intently on the raven-haired man in front of him. He quickly scanned the park, wondering if anyone else but him had heard the blunt inquiry. Neji refused to believe that **the** Uchiha Sasuke had just asked him such a personal question, and in the absence of Naruto no less. Had the blonde been anywhere nearby, Neji would find himself strung up by his intestines for witnessing Sasuke's temporary breakdown.

Because it most likely was a breakdown.

Sasuke did not take strolls in a park alone, unless someone stood in the shadows (like his brother, Itachi) and kept a carefully aimed shuriken ready at all times. Apart from that, if people weren't an old member of Team 7, then there was no way in hell the usually laconic jounin would grace anyone else with more than monosyllables or grunting noises. And for Sasuke to ask people, other than Naruto, a direct question about himself as a person, then either A) Sasuke was suffering from an acute case of severe mental illness, or B) Naruto had pissed him off beyond reasoning.

Due to the loud blonde's absence, Neji opted for the latter.

Neji grunted noncommittally as his eyes darted around for a blonde mop of hair. Where the hell was that crazy fox when you needed him? Sasuke sized him up with a sceptically raised eyebrow, as if quietly telling him that he knew what Neji was doing.

What was Neji doing? He was looking for a way to vacate the premises, that's what.

"Well, do you?" Sasuke tapped a foot expectantly. Neji knew. Neji knew he wasn't waiting for an honest reply; Sasuke was waiting to hear what he wanted to hear. Too bad Neji had no fucking idea whatsoever what he should say. What on earth had he, Neji, done to receive such a blatant show of trust that even the famous Uchiha Sasuke himself had no qualms about asking his opinion on a relatively private matter?

Was this some sort of test?

Was Itachi around somewhere? Hiding in the bushes? Lurking in some shady corner? Was he going to jump him as soon as he offended his little brother? Itachi's fondness for Sasuke was one of the worst kept secrets in all of Konoha. If anyone jilted the youngest one of the Uchiha brothers, they might as well assign themselves on the most dangerous mission available and be killed in action, going down valiantly while fighting for their village. It was better than facing Itachi's wrath and a much more honourable way to kick the bucket.

Not that the Uchiha clan was the only clan to look out for. The Hyuga family could be equally dangerous, and behaving impeccably while in the presence of a main branch member was a necessity when dealing with both families. Most people shied away from their internal affairs, and the only one with enough power to meddle was the Hokage. Although the two clans had their silent feuds with each other, it had never become a matter of open war.

The Hyuga clan had come to a silent agreement with the Uchiha clan. Both families left the other one alone and never bothered with the other's business. People from both houses were allowed to see each other and forced to cooperate on missions, but there was no official peace treaty going on between them. Neither clan would back down and declare themselves the losers in a war that never really was.

Dignity. It was all about dignity.

This little agreement however, gave no one the right to fraternise with the enemy to the extent Sasuke was doing with Neji at the moment. This wasn't something a sane Sasuke would ever do, and even if he proved to be insane, he still had the blonde to keep him from acting on that insanity. This situation just didn't add up. Sasuke and Neji had a way of getting on each other's nerves. Naruto knew this so the fox usually stuck around to keep them away from each other.

Where was he now?

"What brought this up all of a sudden?" It was a question for a question. Neji was proud of himself. This would buy him time.

"Naruto thinks I'm girly. The thought of me topping anyone cracks him up. Is that a justified reaction?" _'Oh crap, I've just made things ten times worse.'_ Neji swallowed thickly, anxiously loosening the hem of his shirt. It didn't matter what he answered, the outcome would be disastrous anyway. This was obviously the newest invented method to get him killed. Unfortunately, this might actually work too. Neji had the most dreaded feeling that he was going down.

What to do? What to say? How do you deal with mentally unstable people? What to do with a mentally unstable person that could, and most likely would, kill him if he said anything wrong?

"What's going on here?" The usually cheerful voice was coated with underlying suspicion. Neji did a one-eighty and found himself face to face with the person he had spent the past five minutes of his life searching for. Breathing a sigh of relief, he calmly took a step back, fully signalling to the blonde that this wasn't something he had initiated.

Naruto was welcome to take over anytime.

"I think he's having an identity crisis." Neji supplied, discreetly bobbing his head toward Sasuke. Naruto didn't move a muscle, only kept his gaze pinned on the Hyuga clan member. Neji grew slightly discomfited, but met Naruto's gaze steadily. He knew that if his gaze wavered after a meeting with the blonde's lover, Naruto would immediately come to the conclusion that Neji had done something inappropriate to Sasuke, like using him to defile a table or something.

This was just fucking great...

"Identity crisis?" Naruto inquired, cocking his head to one side in what appeared to be amused curiosity. Neji had passed the test.

"He was asking me if he were girly, Naruto. Sasuke was asking **me**."

"Oh, I see," Naruto said, looking sheepish, "Sorry, that's probably my fault. This morning I might have hurt his male ego," he explained, lifting a hand to his neck as he chuckled.

"Probably? Might have? Fix it, Naruto! What if he asks Itachi the same questions? Itachi will kill you for putting weird ideas into the head of his **precious** little brother."

"Won't happen if you just tell him what he wants to hear."

"What **does** he want to hear? I'm completely clueless!"

"You think a guy **wants** to appear feminine?"

"...Some do."

"Do you think **Sasuke** does?"

"Since you are asking me like that, I guess not... Hey, where is Uchiha?"

"...Fuck, he was here a minute ago." Naruto swore as he spun around, quickly scanning his surroundings. Neji followed his example and looked around. He was about to activate his Byakugan when he noticed something vaguely familiar in the distance. He squinted slightly against the sun. It was hard to tell from this distance, but it looked like Sasuke, didn't it?

"Naruto, is that him by the _taiyaki_ vendor?" Neji's eyes widened with revelation. "And is that quite the flirty girl next to him?" Neji was right. There was a pretty redhead standing next to Sasuke, and he and the girl seemed to be having a conversation. And it was while watching this that Neji reconsidered his two previous options; maybe Sasuke really was going mental after all?

Neji threw Naruto an assessing glance, trying to gauge his reaction. As the energetic blonde grew up, he gained the trust of Konoha and was now met with nothing but acceptance and understanding. Naruto still had his issues though, most of them concerning the youngest Uchiha brother. Too bad Sasuke was too busy chatting up a girl to notice Naruto's inner struggle. For having a ninja lover, of jounin rank no less, Naruto had his protective fits at the most inconvenient times. It was something Sasuke had, to his great exasperation, experienced firsthand, and something Neji had witnessed one too many times.

"I think he **accidentally** brushed her shoulder just now." Naruto commented quietly, clenching his fists as his eyes locked with dark, triumphing ones. Neji just nodded to indicate he had heard, but was too stunned to do much else. He was witnessing an obvious lovers' tiff between two of his oldest friends. This couldn't possibly go well.

And then Neji became wide-eyed and downright disbelieving as Sasuke snuck an arm around the girl's waist and guided her out of the park. Sasuke did a casual turn of his head and smirked over his shoulder. Naruto's expression darkened. Before he disappeared he flashed his staring boyfriend a single finger salute, leaving said boyfriend to growl at his retreating back.

Sasuke had now officially declared Naruto war.

'_If a fight ever breaks out between the two of them then...'_ Neji shuddered. Together, the two of them could bring entire Konoha to its knees.

Great.

Just fucking great.

* * *

Sasuke eyed her up and down with quiet dissatisfaction. **She** was nothing like Naruto. She was pretty much the opposite with long, luscious red hair and milky pale skin. Nothing like he was used to. And her eyes, they were green, not the sky blue he was normally so intimate with. _'She has boobs,'_ Sasuke commented idly to himself. He was already determined to keep his distance from those. He sized her up again with distaste. She wasn't Naruto; couldn't even pass as his sister. Maybe he should pick someone a little more similar? It would certainly make everything a bit more bearable.

No, this wasn't the time to be picky.

Worming an arm around her waist, he drew the nameless girl closer, buried his nose in her hair like Naruto so often did with him. **Bubblegum**. Her hair smelled strongly of bubblegum. It was as if a poor five-year-old had been given unlimited supply with bubblegum and had had an accident of epic proportions. It was sickening, and Sasuke did the hastiest retreat possible without appearing desperate. Nameless girl only giggled. Sasuke rolled his eyes skyward.

Something told him this was going to be bothersome.

Nameless girl moved her arms from his back and up to tangle long, manicured nails in his hair. She dragged herself up in a sitting position across his lap and started returning the cuddly favours with a giddy eagerness that almost made Sasuke squeamish. Forcing himself to go with the foreplay, he placed two shaky hands on her waist to support her on her little trip over his neck. Soft lips ghosted his skin; leaving trails of sweet drool and the occasional sucking mark to proclaim her venture to where no woman had gone before.

Sasuke was not enjoying this experience with Nameless girl...

Nameless girl had a name. He just hadn't bothered remembering. It wasn't important in the long run. He hadn't even brought her home; neither to his room with the Uchiha clan or to his shared flat with Naruto. The latter wasn't an option for obvious reasons. If either of them ever took a girl with them to their flat, they would be forced to move, stat. And Itachi regularly scouted the Uchiha premises, and being caught red-handed with a girl didn't appeal to Sasuke the slightest.

Now, if he could just think. What did Naruto usually do? Aha, he would nibble his earlobe every now and then! Sasuke let out a satisfied hum when a breathy moan escaped her lips in response to a gentle nip. Success! Sasuke smirked. See, this wasn't so hard. If he were lucky, he'd be out of there within the hour. This was certainly something he could brag about to Naruto. If this was the only thing there was to it, then Sasuke was not impressed.

Nameless girl put her hands on his chest and pushed him down with a wicked grin. Sasuke repaid her efforts with a wan smile. "You like this, big boy?" she whispered seductively, and Sasuke jumped. He hadn't expected that. He didn't deign her inquiry with more than a nod, and her smile fell briefly. It made Sasuke feel much more relaxed. Nameless girl had been beaming from ear to ear ever since he'd booked the hotel room.

Sasuke watched rather helplessly as nameless girl started going lower and lower. He stopped himself from swallowing uneasily. He had to look away for a moment when she vigorously took the zipper between her teeth and pulled down. This wasn't comfortable at all. Where the hell was Naruto? Naruto would've dragged him out of this mess. He would've done so without hesitation and with exaggerated gusto. Then he'd indubitably make a fool of himself by tripping over the carpet or something equally stupid, but it would be okay because Naruto would still be there.

"It's limp."

"Hn?" Sasuke raised his head in question as she stared pointedly at his groin, gazing at something between his legs, doing a rather close inspection. He blinked. He looked down and then scoffed under her scrutiny. She was right. Well, no surprise there really. "Of course it is," he muttered as if this was to be expected.

"Why?" she demanded, positioning her hand dangerously close to the still open zipper. Sasuke suddenly became very concerned for his general health as he got the distinct impression that she was about to attack. There was something in her eyes he just didn't like and he slowly started inching away from her. His experience with Sakura had taught him a lot about the mysterious workings of the female mind and, whenever Sakura's eyes caught this particular glint, most people pivoted on their heels.

"I'm with you," he replied calmly. Nameless girl turned red. Sasuke first thought she was embarrassed. He definitively knew he would've been if he had been so incompetent as to make another man unable to perform. But when she did a quick grab for his pants and yanked them down with a force that seemed surreal, he realised that embarrassment wasn't the reason for her red cheeks.

It was pure indignation directed at him because Sasuke had rejected her.

"I'm with the famous Uchiha Sasuke. No other girl has been invited to your bed before. We are going to fuck!" she hissed, and Sasuke paled considerably. He always knew there was a reason for him being gay. Was she going to start some bondage play now? This was his cue for running like hell, wasn't it? Forgetting all about keeping his cool, Sasuke scrambled out of bed, stumbling in his endeavour to get away from her.

Nameless girl advanced in a very catty fashion.

Sasuke felt like a prey. His survival instinct was kicking in.

Would he have to kill her? Or would a quick conk to her head suffice? Both options were doable, he reasoned. He was a ninja after all. However, he had to exercise caution because the Hokage would directly deal with any attack on the citizens of Konoha. And Sasuke didn't feel like telling anyone that he had acted in self-defence, feeling threatened by a girl.

"What do you think you're doing to my Sasuke?"

Said boy whipped around. Naruto stood in the doorway with a key in hand and a malicious expression. Sasuke frowned. He had never seen Naruto with that particular look before. He would have to take a note of that and store it in his very own Naruto archive for later. Coaxing out new expressions from his lover was Sasuke's favourite past time activity. However, an expression like this wasn't always so welcomed. It was easy to tell that that particular expression spelled trouble for him.

"Naruto," nameless girl gulped as she too noticed the sheer rage on his face, "Have you come to join us?" she continued hopefully, and Sasuke's eyes narrowed in contempt. As if Naruto would ever lower his standards enough to let her into the equation. No bloody way! Sasuke decidedly ignored the fact that he had just done that himself only hours ago.

Naruto shook his head. "No, I've just come to fetch a stray pup." He stared hard at Sasuke, daring him to retaliate. Sasuke, however, had come to realise the gravity of the situation and Naruto's very bad mood and merely remained quiet. Nameless girl turned another fancy shade of red as she grabbed her jacket and put it on. With a departing glare, she slammed the door, leaving behind a dazed _uke_ and a pissed off _seme_.

Momentarily distracted, Sasuke didn't notice until Naruto had already pounced on him for the second time that day. "You cheater!" Naruto accused as he pinned his hands above his head, blue eyes furious. With a knee pressed into his back, Sasuke had a hard time responding with his stomach trying to merge with the floor and Naruto seized the opportunity to continue his tirade. "I never gave you permission to do that!"

"I told you I would show you," Sasuke defended meekly. "And I didn't even complete it, but I did get her to bed though," he quickly added, rather self-satisfied. He hadn't lost his touch. Uchiha Sasuke could still make the women swoon.

Naruto grunted in affirmation. "True," he conceded. "But technically, you couldn't get yourself to bed. So in the end, you proved nothing," he pointed out smugly. "Besides, it was a woman. They don't count anyway."

"You should just be happy I didn't do it! What if she-" Sasuke was abruptly cut off by a sharp nip to the ear. During his rant Naruto had removed the knee from his back and decided to use his full bodyweight to keep him on the floor instead. Now snugly sandwiched between a mad boyfriend and the cold floor, Sasuke could only say this was the best International Women's Day he had ever experienced.

Oh, the sarcasm.

"I never cared for that girl; all I care about is you." Naruto rolled Sasuke onto his back so they could finally be face to face. "And you let her touch you!" Sasuke only pursed his lips. With his pants discarded somewhere to the left and his shirt pulled up and exposing his abdomen, Sasuke just didn't feel appropriately dressed for a fight.

Naruto bent down to capture his lips with his. Sasuke knew that this mess was his fault, and as such he should take responsibility, so he didn't put up the playful resistance he usually did. Instead he was pliant and uncharacteristically responsive. But when Naruto started chuckling for no reason, Sasuke couldn't help but feel like he had gone from a bad situation to a worse. That mischievous laugh could only mean that Naruto was up to something, something not good. The laughter soon died though and the hand moving around his waist came to an abrupt halt across his stomach.

"Oi, what the hell is this?" Naruto asked crossly, tracing a line between the kiss marks on Sasuke's neck with his index finger, gingerly adding pressure on every red hickey with a disapproving frown. "_Teme_, you let her mark you?" Naruto's voice was husky with unrestrained anger. He could do nothing to hide his shock. It was evident in the very way his body stilled. Sasuke winced as Naruto moved for a closer inspection.

"Did you let her do this to you too?" Naruto slid cold hands up under Sasuke's shirt to his chest. His hands started wandering and Sasuke's breath hitched. This was a reaction no other but Naruto could force out of him. He didn't even know why he reacted that way, only knew that it was impossible to ignore the skilful hands of his lover. Sasuke had been a rather stubborn individual, and still was, before Naruto had imposed on his private life and meddled in his affairs.

But Naruto had a way of getting under his skin.

For years, Itachi had been the only one who could speak some common sense into him. And if he couldn't speak it, if the matter was grave enough, he would beat it in with a spoon if necessary. Itachi was the only one who could make him see reason, but that changed that fateful morning when he had accidentally kissed Naruto. Frankly, that had been the most awful moment of his life. Well, not in hindsight, but at the age of twelve, no guy would want their first kiss so abruptly taken away from them.

After that, it wasn't as if their relationship had started with a bang, and it hadn't been very good in the beginning either. Rivalry; it was all about the fierce yearning to beat the only one capable of surpassing the other. But things had evened out with the years and experience had made them wiser, giving them a totally new perspective on things. And Sasuke was, all in all, pleased with the way things had turned out.

"Don't zone out on me while I'm seducing you." Naruto chided before he tenderly kissed a collarbone, giving it a nice red hue. Sasuke forced down a whimper as Naruto worked his way up to his lips, expertly leaving small kisses on his way. Despite the obvious effort in making him feel good, Sasuke couldn't help but notice Naruto had yet to go any lower.

This bothered him.

Was Naruto disciplining **him**?

"Naruto?"

"Mm?"

"Is this some form for punishment?" Sasuke spoke tentatively, not willing to ruin the mood with small talk. When Naruto stopped his administrations to grin down at him, Sasuke's good mood dropped significantly anyway. He wasn't serious, was he? It wasn't as if Sasuke was a little kid anymore. Naruto couldn't just take the liberty of punishing him like this. It was plain torture! And Naruto knew that...

"Why Sasuke, that is quite perceptive of you."

"Get off."

"No, you owe me," Naruto answered curtly. He continued his languid kissing, taking no notice of Sasuke's growing restlessness. "You know," Naruto paused, "I've done some research, and found out that in male relationships, it's not that unusual to switch." He let the words hang to let Sasuke absorb them and grasp their meaning, expecting this to please him greatly. After all, Naruto had taken the initiative to solve one of Sasuke's many problems.

'_Don't tell me he-'_ Sasuke became anxious. "You didn't ask Kakashi, did you?"

"Hell no!" Naruto exclaimed, abruptly ceasing all movements in favour of staring at him in horror.

"Sorry, I just had to be sure."

"It's fine," Naruto assured him, resuming his previous actions and taking special notice of a weak spot behind Sasuke's ear. He kept his attentions there for some time, carefully looking for any signs of Sasuke reaching a decision regarding his most recent discovery. "So... Do you want to do it? Switch, I mean." He sounded surprisingly hesitant and Sasuke stopped breathing altogether. He didn't know how to respond. Instead he ended up blinking owlishly against the harsh light in the ceiling.

Sasuke had no clue on how he should behave to Naruto's unusual inquiry. After all the huffing and puffing and generally causing a stir, Sasuke should take this chance and at least try it out without being wasted beforehand. The experience might come in handy someday. And Naruto would be offered the pleasures of being the submissive one. Not that such a role would ever suit Naruto as his personality just wasn't docile enough...

Fucking light in the ceiling; it was too damn bright.

…

A quiet chuckle snapped Sasuke's focus back on his now incredibly amused boyfriend.

"You don't know what to do, do you?" Naruto asked, smiling gently as he gave his boyfriend an assuring pat on the head.

"Um, not really..."

"I'll guide you, if you like." Naruto offered, already reaching for Sasuke's hand to push it under his own shirt. Sasuke's entire body stiffened and he didn't quite know where to move his limbs. Naruto noticed his apprehensive attitude and he proceeded to cup Sasuke's chin in the palm of his hand and caress him with his thumb. "There's no need to be shy, _teme_, so stop blushing. It's not like we're doing anything new. You know what I like; just use the knowledge to your advantage," he explained simply and Sasuke scoffed.

Naruto made it sound too easy. Sasuke wriggled his toes in wonder. When he had been with the girl, all the things he'd had to do to her had been plain torture. But today with Naruto, things were getting even more complicated. Sasuke knew he had been bitching about this for most of the day, but now when the opportunity presented itself, he was reluctant.

Why?

"-It's all about finding the right rhythm," Naruto explained, but Sasuke hadn't even heard half of the lecture. When Naruto didn't seem to quit anytime soon, Sasuke put two steady hands on his chest and pushed him backwards, promptly tumbling after him so he was the one holding Naruto down with his weight. Naruto had gone uncharacteristically quiet and Sasuke felt a little tense. His lover was probably nervous too. After all, this situation was just as unfamiliar to him.

Not that Naruto had any reason to worry.

Sasuke had made up his mind.

"Naruto, I-" he had to stop to take a deep breath, "I... I kinda like it when you move in me," he whispered, not able to stop the blush that rose steadily to his cheeks. Naruto looked dumbfounded. Collecting himself, he fought against the deadweight that was Sasuke and quickly rolled around to swap positions. He stared down into the sparkling eyes he was so fond of, searching for the emotions hidden in the depths of those black pools. _'That freaking tease.'_ Naruto swore there was no one like him.

"...So the whole fit you threw, that was only a matter of principle then?"

A sharp nod was his only response.

Naruto snorted. "You can't say cute things like that so suddenly. It throws me off completely," he muttered into a wisp of black hair as he buried himself in the silky strands of his lover. "You should be leashed to our bedpost when I'm not around," he continued with absolute seriousness, and Sasuke couldn't ignore how kinky that sounded. Any response was impossible though as Naruto pulled him off the floor and pushed him onto the bed. A stuttered protest nearly made it out, before the blonde once again had his lover caged under him. Sasuke squirmed to test his bounds, but it soon became evident that any more protests from his side would not be tolerated.

Nuzzling closer still, Naruto's smile grew mischievous as his hand started to lazily trail his _koi_'s hipbone. "Sasuke, who was that girl?" he asked with feigned indifference, careful not to let his hand dip lower, instead opting to follow Sasuke's collarbone with his tongue in a lazy manner.

"Don't know. I never bothered with her name." Sasuke replied, too caught up with the slow-burning sensation on his hip to think coherently.

"Good." Naruto praised as his hand wandered rewardingly farther south…

* * *

"What, Sakura?" Sasuke snapped impatiently. The girl had been staring at him for the past fifteen minutes as if he were a walking miracle, a godsend angel, a protector of the innocent... and a fool. It was starting to tick him off, and he was **this** close to kicking her out. But the problem was that she hadn't been asking him any annoying questions either. And so he had no reason to send her headfirst into the flowerbed across the street, yet. And that's what really made this twice as weird.

When Sakura had popped up on their door early in the morning, Sasuke had immediately been wary of her. An early Sakura could only spell trouble. It was two days after the disastrous International Women's Day, and he had enjoyed the peace and quiet. If Sakura had been here to inform him of a mission or to see Naruto, then fine. But Naruto had just stepped outside and Sasuke had not been called out on a mission. That left only one option: Sakura was up to something.

People did **not** come and go for absolutely no reason, and certainly not the pink-haired kunoichi currently seated by the kitchen table.

If Sakura wanted to pry something out of them, she would usually settle down comfortably by their kitchen table, doing some small talk to get the conversation going and then ask her desired question when it was least expected. This strategy usually worked wonders on Naruto. How many times hadn't that _baka_ fallen for such a simple tactic?

But that was just the thing!

Sakura had barely spoken a word except for the standard greeting. She had smiled and entered, offered him a few greetings from friends she had met on her way and commented a little on her mission with Ino. Then she had fallen silent, unnervingly so. If she didn't say anything soon, Sasuke would most likely assume the worst and think someone had died. She sat there, staring at him and wringing her hands. She would occasionally open her mouth, as if to speak, for only to promptly shut it again.

Sasuke sighed. "Spit it out, woman," he urged.

"Well," Sakura bit her lip nervously, "...Is it true that you're impotent?"

* * *

_Quick dictionary:_

_Seme: Top in a relationship_

_Uke: Bottom in a relationship_

_Baka: (here) Fool/Idiot_

_Teme: Bastard_

_Koi: (here) Love_

_Taiyaki: A fish-shaped cake with filling (most common filling is a bean paste made from sweetened Azuki beans, but there's also for example chocolate, custard or cheese)_

* * *

The International Women's Day is on March 8, so to all women out there: Happy International Women's Day!

I'll admit I did a complete slaughter of Sasuke's character, but I think he's cute when he has his uke-moments.

Reviews are appreciated.

Ja ne!

P-Ys


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